Lost Oars

Forever ago
Yet a million years hence;
Fences that sprung by the night
Bloodied chains we thought-
We could dispense

You and I, we tried –
Oh! The things we did to give it flesh!
But gave up, for we
Could not feel it
In our bones anymore

Love remained a lost jigsaw piece,
And we, a torn-up photograph
Many a dawn and sunset past
Had left us, and dry
Honeymoon Goosebumps
Had all simmered down
And we had to kill it
Had to let it die

***
How much longer and how much more
Will it be enough?
The time and distance
We keep between us
Dearer than love.

The same old thoughts and convictions
Sins and atonements scream
As they burn again, as one
In the crucible of life
Hands fast, but in evident disgust

As we sit across the table, silent
For words can only mar
I fear our souls still stand trapped
Behind the pieces of the broken mirror
Upon your dresser counter.
The coffee table with its sooty skin
Have our cups still, left as they were
Half done or half made
A rhetoric of existence laid bare
Drapes collect dust
Smothered dead by our love,
Or by your absent caresses
Beat colourless by the tide’s unrest
Both sides in want for yesterday
When we were together
When we had the world whole,
Between us: to squander

Then we went around the garden,
Together, yet alone
Smelled the other roses at play
And slowly did I realize
That the rows were stuck
And the bank was the one drifting away

***
I fear we lost our oars somewhere
Down these ruthless rapids of fate
When we timidly left our choices
To the fickle hand of the sickly state
But today,
Our convictions lie shattered
Remunerations undone
Perhaps that’s why
There’s a hole, in our boat now
Perhaps the rapids were not done yet
Perhaps it was gradually worn down?
Or maybe
Someone had pulled out the stopper
But we dared not say who
Or could it have always been?
Collecting water
We can’t turn back now
For we have come too far
The banks seem too distant too
Sure to sink before we dare

But we are okay somehow

Like we always were.
Cold to change
Within and around
And the winds carry us forward
Beyond us, to halt!

We float aimlessly
Subject to this undertow
Even the waters oblivious
Silent as we sit in our two ends
Just staring mid-air,
While echoes of
Our swallowed words makes
Us sadder with each sweep
Pulling us down and deep
To the abyss below
We sit and pass time by
Till the sky painted the waters vermillion
The water brimmed on both sides,
And the boat parted us, but slowly,
Sad to say its goodbyes

Our eyes meet again, now at the edge
Water lapping cold against her cheeks
The lilies that seemed to grow there
Have now slowly made unto roses
Her eyes talked to mine,
From beneath the brink
And our lips let slip one last sorry
The last I saw, before the stage grew black,
Was her silhouette fading
Ever so somber, but full in grace
Gently toward the deep

A chill wind over the ripples,
Slashed the painted vermillion off the day’s face
And all that was left
Was the dark of the night
And sadness, moist in its rain
Still warm, from the day’s touch
Like a shiver Creeps upon you, takes you by surprise
And leads you by the hand, right to the abyss
But the edge. She won’t push.
For providence has it
Be my hand that turns the knob
Me to be shown to have made the choice

And in a final desperation
For something to hold on
My rabid brain
Threw my arms around
For something to touch
Till it found the lost
Oars that came floating by,
Fate’s last hand-
One final mockery-
Of our mortal worries.

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